Do you freeze up or lack the confidence to ask for things that you think you deserve? Particularly in the workplace, being able to communicate your needs can be difficult and if not done correctly, can come across as arrogant or demanding.
There is a science to it explains Amy Fish, author of I Wanted Fries With That: How to Ask for What You Want and Get What You Need, in a recent article published in Costco Connection’s May/June 2020 issue.
“[If you] want a raise, pick the right time and place to have the conversation [with your boss],” Fish says. “The best time to ask is during your regular meeting or [set aside] some one-on-one time.”
Being prepared with what you want to say will help you to stay calm. Remembering to centre your breathing and be concise are also important tactics. Stick to your point and listen to your manager’s response – try not to get emotional if things don’t go your way. The more prepared you are for this conversation, the easier it will be to stay professional. Together, discuss the topic further to get more details and clarity.
“Want recognition? Do your homework,” Fish adds. “Review your current tasks, including the ones that go beyond the scope of your job description. Check out comparable positions in your company so that you can present those to your boss as well.” Then, close with a confident statement like: ‘I’ve been doing xyz and I would like my title to reflect this responsibility.’ Stop talking and give your manager time to digest.
As far as wanting to know why you were overlooked in a recent promotion, Fish suggests getting the whole story and gathering as much information as possible.
“Meet with [Human Resources] and your boss, and ask how the decision was made, what criteria was used and who was consulted,” Fish says. “You can reiterate that you want to advance in the company and for them to let you know what to work on to do so. This will show your commitment and possibly keep you top of mind when a new position becomes available.”
Preparation and respect during these difficult conversations will show your manager that you have a genuine interest in furthering your skills and representing the company. Having the ability to ask for what you want and putting it into practise will also build up your confidence. In turn, this will help you effectively navigate these conversations when they do arise.
